My paternal Grandmother, Nealie Vermell Drake Tapley, 1895-1970, passed away when I was 3 years old. I have only one memory of her. I did not receive the blessing it would have been to get to know her. However, from all accounts that I have been told, and the research I have done, it is obvious she was a very strong woman.
Nealie was born and grew up in Adrian, Emanuel County, Georgia. She was the 4th child (of 9) of Rev. William John (or John William) Drake, 1857-1927 and Emma Vermell Harrell Drake, 1867-1935. There were many preachers in the Drake family through the generations. Nealie's grandfather, James William Drake, 1829-1908, was the first minister at Poplar Springs Methodist Church in Adrian, where many Drakes worshipped and are now buried.
Tragedy, hard times, and tough situations struck Nealie from an early age and continued throughout her life:
- Her oldest sister, Hattie Lay Drake Wise died from typhoid fever in July of 1912.
- Her older brother, William Lovick Drake died in December 1912, also from typhoid fever.
- Her younger brother, William Robert Drake, was murdered in June 1927.
- Her father was shot and killed in August 1927. It was an accidental shooting by her brother, James Weldon Drake.
- A younger sister, Nancy Mary Ann Drake Donaldson died at age 25 in 1931. I do not know her cause of death.
- After marrying Papa (Lusion Keman Tapley) in 1914, she became estranged from her parents and did not see them much, if at all, before they passed. While I don't know the reason for the estrangement, I imagine it had something to do with her marrying a man 25 years older than her who had 4 children.
- Upon marrying Papa, Nealie instantly had 3 boys to raise, ages 9, 6, and 4, who had lost their mother just two years earlier.
- Nealie and Lusion lost their home/farm in 1932 as explained in my last blog post.
- Papa died in 1935.
- Her mother died, also in 1935, just 3 months after Papa passed. My father told me he did not remember Nealie going to the funeral.
- For the next several years after Papa's death, as the head of the family, Nealie had to work many different jobs to feed her family.
- In her older years, she shuttled from one child's home to another and ended up living in public housing.
- At some point, she lost an eye, probably to disease, but we do not know the exact diagnosis.
- And in what was probably the final straw...her beloved son, Russ (John Russell Tapley), suddenly passed away from a heart attack in 1967. He had turned 50 just five days before he died. Uncle Russ was the glue that held this family together. He was Grandma's protector and provider. I cannot even imagine the huge blow it was to her to lose him.
There is a saying that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. It seems that there are some people, like my Grandmother, that He believed could handle a lot. Throughout her life, Nealie had a strong faith. She had to have leaned on her faith to have survived all she did. I have talked to many people, both family and non-family, and no one has ever had a bad word to say about her. (At Christmas time, Mom and I visited a cousin who has dementia and had no idea who we were. But as soon as we mentioned Nealie, her face lit up and she joyfully said, "Aunt Nealie! Yes!") Grandma Nealie was dignified; a true Southern lady. She was kind, fun, a wonderful mother, grandmother, aunt, friend, and church member. She was tough. She had a backbone. She took no gruff. But she loved her family. She was a strong woman.
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