My life has changed drastically since I last wrote a blog post over two years ago! I could not fathom that it had been two years. I knew it had been awhile; time really does literally just fly by. I'm constantly surprised at how long ago an event took place. All the cliches apply... "Time flies," "It comes with getting older," "Time stops for no one." The 80's are now 40 years ago. The 90's are 30 years ago. It's been two years since I last wrote a blog post. Unbelievable. Yet here I am.
So I'm going to try to catch you up now. Trust me, most of the stuff is from the last 3-4 months so you won't have to read about two years' worth of life.
I don't recall why the break between Thanksgiving of 2022 and June of 2023. Probably just exhausted. Procrastinating. Working full time takes a lot out of me. By the time I got home each day, I didn't feel like cooking, cleaning, or doing anything that required more brain power than I had already used the past 8-9 hours. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
June 2023: My mother was diagnosed with cancer. I don't know the fancy name for it, but she basically had a spot on her small intestine. She had been having trouble eating and keeping food down for several weeks before she finally went to the doctor. We were shocked at the diagnosis because we were thinking a digestive condition like diverticulitis or irritable bowel syndrome. So I dropped everything, came to Augusta for two weeks to get all her oncology appointments, including chemo, set up, and stayed through her first treatment. Then it was chemo every 3 weeks until October. She was doing well. It had not made her sick like we've heard. I drove back and forth to take her to chemo and the follow up appointment with the oncologist the day after chemo. He was impressed with how she was doing. The scans showed the cancer going away. It was all good. She was scheduled for just one more chemotherapy treatment when disaster struck.
That disaster came in the form of a cute little, solid black cat named Charlie. Mom adopted Charlie from a friend who had to go into senior care. This kitty is very sweet and loving... right up until he isn't. We don't know why, but Charlie will turn on you in a second and bite you. You can be petting him and everything is fine and BAM! He'll turn and bite. Or you can be walking up the hall, and he decides he does not appreciate your being in his space. He will growl and hiss... and bite if you try to pet him. On one of my visits, he bit me on the right hand, and it became infected. I ended up at urgent care. Charlie is Charlie and we just try to be extra observant when we interact with him.
During an evening in October, my mother was walking up the hall. Charlie decided he didn't want to share that space with her so he nipped her somewhere in the leg/ankle/foot area. It startled her, caused her to lose her balance, and she fell. The next day she was sore and stayed in her recliner all day. But the next day, Sunday, her legs began to swell and she felt worse. She let this go on until Thursday and she couldn't walk by then. I'm in Durham. She doesn't tell me all this. I don't know what's going on. One of her friends walked in, took one look at her, and took her to the emergency room. I drove through the night and got there a little after midnight. She was septic and admitted to the hospital. She came too close to losing her legs. It was scary for me. She was in the hospital for over a week and then moved to rehab for another week - 10 days. It was not an easy time. I was staying at her house, taking care of her cats, getting Mom what she needed, talking to nurses and doctors and therapists. I was dealing with all the stuff you have to deal with when your loved one is in a facility and someone there drops the ball. I also had to step up and take over her finances when the first morning I was there, Georgia Power turned off her service for nonpayment. She simply forgot to pay the bill for two months. She's 82. She shouldn't have to worry about things like that anymore, right? Then came the glorious day she was released and came home. The only lasting effect she has is her balance is not the same. She uses a rollator around the house, and a cane when she goes out. Her legs have healed, and she is currently working on getting the edema under control. The treatment for that is working.
Now let me add something right here that I wish I didn't need to say. Yes Charlie has issues. Everyone has a bad day now and then. It never occurred to either my mother or me to get rid of him. That is off the table. Once we adopt a pet, that is our child until the day they pass over the rainbow bridge.
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| Charlie the cat |
After all this, her oncology scans showed the cancer was gone. So the oncologist waived her last chemotherapy treatment. All good news.
December 2023 was rocking along. I was planning to come back down to spend Christmas with Mom. One week before Christmas, I have a kidney stone. With waiting for it to pass and not wanting to be in the middle of nowhere somewhere between Durham and Augusta when it did, I decided to stay home for Christmas. All went well and the kidney stone went on its way.
Because of using so much of my time for mom's cancer and fall, and the fact that we got a new computer system at work in April, it was about 10 months before I got back to Augusta to see Mom again. I felt guilty. She was doing fine, and her friends were helping her, but I still felt guilty. I kept going around in my head of how to move to Augusta to be here for her. It's so expensive to move, and it's scary to go job hunting again in your late 50's. My brain would circle and circle the issue but never complete the circle. Never came to a conclusion/decision.
My job in Durham had always been stressful. I worked with customers. The coworkers and management were difficult at best. I'm sure they feel it was me. Anyway, after the new computer system went in, it made my job obsolete, and I basically lost my position. It was no longer needed. So I tried to make myself useful in other ways, but it wasn't enough for them. In August, the supervisors wanted to move me back to the front where I would have direct customer contact again, not just phone contact. I did that job before for 8 1/2 years, and for many reasons, it almost destroyed my mental health. Of course the people at work thought I was being dramatic or exaggerating, but I spent most those years depressed, stressed out and even suicidal at times. And it may be another cliche, but management does not care if you are struggling in your job. It's all about them and what's best for the office. So I refused to do the move, they called me insubordinate, and I quit my job.
Within a week, I had a moving company lined up, a lead on selling my house, and I was starting to go through everything I owned to downsize. The movers came on September 24. It was a nightmare even with movers packing my belongings and delivering them to Augusta for me. Stuff got lost and broken. It cost way more than I ever imagined. If I said anything about the costs, the movers tried to shame me for having too much stuff. It's my stuff. I'll take it if I want to. Believe me, I paid for that. I arrived in Augusta at 10:30 pm on Tuesday, September 24. The movers arrived on Thursday, the 26th. It was pouring rain. They literally threw my belongings anywhere there was an empty space. Cabinets stacked upside down. Boxes and stuff piled to the ceilings. Still shaming me for the amount of stuff I brought.
Then Hurricane Helene hit early Friday morning, the 27th. Thus began 6 days of no electricity. Couldn't get food or gas or ice the first few days. Couldn't drive anywhere because trees were down on all the roads. But you know what? Mom and I made it through. We survived. Others had it so much worse than us. Our house nor cars were damaged. The limb that fell on the storage building didn't even damage it. We're OK.
We took it day by day. We would work for one hour every afternoon, except Sunday, unpacking a box a day until they were all unpacked. We made trips to donate; we made trips to the landfill; we sold items; and we hauled things to my storage unit. We got it done. All of my boxes got unpacked. We are now living comfortably in our cleaned out, comfortable home. The only thing we haven't finished is cleaning out the back patio. But when it is warm again, we'll tackle it, along with the storage building, a day at a time. People have been gracious and kind, giving of their time and energy... and their trucks when need be (waving at cousins Jimmy and Keith).
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| Emptied boxes! I would stack them up and give them away. |
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| One of my unpacking supervisors, Zeus |
So I'm back in my home state of Georgia. I'm not working because my mom is very busy, and I have to take her to doctor appointments and social engagements. Because of not working, I have more time and energy. It has been a boon for my genealogy research. I'm able to do a little every single day. I've seen cousins and have plans to visit with more. We were able to spend Thanksgiving with friends that we used to share every holiday with. I want to visit cemeteries and new cousins I haven't met yet. My house in Durham has sold and is scheduled to close next week, That will enable me to stay home for awhile longer. I am grateful.
So all of that to say I am back. In Georgia and on this blog. I have had many stories saved up to tell and now it's time. If you read all the way to this point, thank you, and you will rewarded with future more interesting posts.
Happy Holidays!
